| I made a big step for you. Not just for myself but for you. I want to move ahead but I feel as if I put myself out there and you don't pay any attention. Don't just care when you want too. I care about you all the time. I stepped out far. Was it too far? That one night will change the rest of my life. It is a step that I can't take back. Notice my steps. Don't ignore them. When you notice it means everything to me. I am stepping out and going forward with confidence. Don't push me back with your ignorance. I am going forward walk with me. I am waiting for you to take my hand once again and walk with me to the destination that was meant for us. Meet me there. I have been waiting for you all this time and I think you are making progress to get there. I know you have been waiting for me but we have met there before so I know that you know how to get there. You just left me here. I am just waiting for you to come back. |
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| What do you do when your life is a disaster? Do you run to the first thing that will comfort you? So what is it that comforts you? What do you do when no one believes you and all you want to do is be loved? Do you listen to my head and just do what I feel? I think this world would be so much worse if everyone did what they just felt. But sometimes going with a feeling is good. But how do you know when it is? Whatever happened to us? When did we fall apart and lose communication? One day things will be united and reignited. This fire is still burning inside of me and I feel like everyone is around me with a bucket of water trying to put me out. Just let me live my life and you live yours. So what am I to do? Do I let negativity sink? |
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| I tried to tell you how I felt but all you did was tell me how you felt. I have heard how you felt a billion times. You wear it on your face everyday. You cover up. Just listen to me that is all I want. You don't have to say anything just listen to how you are hurting me inside and out. You are to blind to see how I hurt on the outside so I must tell you how I feel inside. But you won't listen so I guess you will never know how I hurt. Remove the cloth that is covering your eyes and just see. You say you know but you have no idea. I have tried... I am giving up. |
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| This I am about to write are things in my head. I have been thinking about this new year alot. What am I going to fill my head with this year? I want this year to be perfect. I am turning 16 in March. I am getting older. That means I am going to have to be more dependent on myself. Another thing is you have to watch out for your past. People bring your past up alot and it always seems to come back. Your past has pushed people away. You have lost alot of friends because of it. Why are things that way? Why are people so stuck on the past. Why can't people live for today and not yesterday. I am living my life for only 2 people. God and me. No one else is going to change my decision and my outcome and my attitude but those 2 people. I look back on 2006 and I think about it and 1 word comes to my mind... Regret... I don't want to regret any longer. I am living this year to the fullest. I am going to listen to advice and take it for what it is. I am going to go by that advice and live it. I used to not listen to it and blow it off. After doing that no one seemed to give me anymore advice. Then I fell. I fell from everyone around me. I fell from God most of all. I wish people wouldn't be so consumed with other people's lives. I think that they should worry about there own. I also hate when you are going through something with someone and they seem to involve everyone else that has no right to know or be part of it. I want to be able to tell someone something without them telling everyone else. I want to be able to live my life like I used too. I want things back to normal. Why did they change? Is this a test? |
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